What We Can Be Grateful For: Going to Sea Versus Staying at Home

These past few weeks have been like living in “The Twilight Zone.” Have I ever watched an episode of the 1959–1964 series? Hell no, but if I start to run out of Netflix and HBO series, I just might.

I think what all of us are dealing with right now is the absence of certainty for sure, but being confined to our homes with short intervals out in the open, with zero human-to-human contact outside our “roommates” (both in quotation marks and outside of them) makes us confined by our thoughts and feelings.

Sure, we have the distractions that internet and TV offer (thank goodness), but when the binge watching is over, we all have to deal with the feelings just simmering under the surface of distraction.

It’s unsettling and hard to deal with, especially if you are prone to any mental or mood disorders. It can be overwhelming to not have your usual work routines that keep your mind distracted. And on top of all of this, we have to deal with the uncertainty of what will happen in this pandemic; will people pay attention to the guidelines and rules in place and will our leaders do the right thing?

It has been a lot to deal with and I have found it hard not to dip into depressive states.

I started thinking back at my childhood when we would spend weeks offshore. From a baby up until a teenager, I was “forced” to take these long trips. When I was 14 years old, I survived 26 days offshore. No internet, no TV. Just an SSB radio, a few DVDs and a lot of books.

If I could do that, I surely can make it through this. I mean sure, I’ve been through some more psychological shit since I was 16, but I should also be more resilient, right? And now I have internet, Zoom, and Facetime. It shouldn’t be that bad.

I pulled out my old journals to see what my thoughts and emotions were during those long journeys. Needless to say I found out that I have always been a moody individual on the verge of an existential crisis, but there was some insight that hopefully can help me, and maybe others, through this.

Prior to leaving on these long journeys, we would have to stock up the boat with supplies that could last us weeks, if not months. My job was always to help with the inventory, which I loved.

Cans were our best friends. Meats and chicken would go bad very quickly onboard since our fridge was cool at best.

Vegetables and fruits lasted usually the first week, but then it was mostly canned foods, rice and pasta.

Needless to say, in this time of social distancing, for the moment, we are able to still go out and buy what we need, and most of us have a fridge that is fairly cold, making it a lot easier to freeze foods, especially prepared foods because lord knows that once the inspiration of cooking EVERY SINGLE NIGHT runs out, those prepared meals will be our best friends.

One thing I am grateful that I don’t have to go through is days of potential seasickness. Health in general, for those of us that are not suffering the sometimes horrific consequences of COVID-19 or any other disease, that is most definitely something to be grateful for.

Offshore, once the seasickness subsided, the process of establishing a rhythm was put into place. Every individual had specific times when they were “on watch.” Generally, with three people, that meant two hours on watch and four hours off. This would continue throughout the 24 hour period, with some break for meal times or “happy hour” if that was decided.

It can be quite lonely, because, yes you are out there with other people, but you are, pardon the pun, like ships passing in the night; as one person comes up from their sleep the other person goes down for theirs.

Communal time was important. It allowed there to be some socialization. Whoever had listened to the British Broadcasting Corporation in the morning, could debrief the rest of the crew in the afternoon. Finding things to talk about since not much was happening out there was sometimes hard but booze definitely helped during happy hour.

Needless to say, we have plenty to talk about now. We are being inundated with news to the point that we have to make the choice to avoid it, at least for a couple of hours in a day, in order to maintain our sanity. And when we don’t want to talk to our roommates, we can call other people! And even see them on our phones!

I guess that is also something to be grateful for. Plus the sleep that you don’t have to lose taking a watch. I mean, I guess you could take a watch, especially since there is a 24 hour news cycle, but I would rather not.

When you were tired of your traveling companions offshore, there was not much else to do besides take a nap.

There wasn’t much privacy either. We didn’t even have a real door to go to the bathroom.

Presently, we can go for walks or a run and hopefully come back refreshed to face our loved ones again. Or not. Then you’re screwed.

After a couple of days offshore, we would sink into our routine. My usual routine consisted of waking up for my watch (after my father shook me a few times), have breakfast, brush my teeth and hair, listen to the news, read, wait for the next person to come up on watch, tell them all about the news, then go back down to sleep for another hour or two before waking up to eat. And the cycle continued endlessly for the duration of the trip.

Showers were a big deal. Depending on how rough it was out there, we would shower every two to five days. I think that’s why I love showers so much now. To me they symbolize feeling good.

You would always feel like a million bucks after a shower. Like a civilized person who lives in society. It was great.

Presently, I am still trying to wrap my head around what my routine is. The environment that rushed to and from in is still out there, just now it is somewhat off limits and potentially going to infect me with a potentially dangerous virus.

I think all our brains are having a hard time processing that information, never mind the anxiety and heartbreak that the pandemic has already caused.

Offshore, at least you sort of/kind of knew when you would arrive at your destination, but in this, we just don’t. It makes it hard to establish the positive mindset necessary to get through this, at least for me.

Being grateful for the things we do have is important and maybe I can learn a thing or two about being thankful for the smaller things, like clean teeth or combed hair.

I’ll let you know if that works.